Tuesday, June 2, 2020

What I Don't Know

I've realized over the past several days that there is so much I don't know.

I don't know what racism and discrimination feel like because I've never experienced them.

I don't know what it feels like to worry about my  husband or children being a victim of a hate crime when they leave the house. 

I don't know what it feels like to fear for my own safety because of the color of my skin.

There's so much I don't know. 


What I do know is that it breaks my heart that others know about those things because they live them on a daily basis.  

What I do know is that the murders of George Floyd and so many others are atrocities that should haver have happened and the people responsible for them should be brought to justice.

What I do know is that I want nothing more than to parent my kids in a way that they would stand up to and fight against racism.  Because it's wrong.

What I do know is that I want to speak up and not stand idly by as people are hurting and that means using this platform (and my platform as a mom, friend, teacher, etc) in ways that I may have not anticipated. 

What I do know is that I want to learn more and do better.



I saw the graphic below (via @ohhappydani) and it was one that I immediately connected with...


... those are all things that I can DO. 

I wish that I had some action plan I could share - instead I can tell you that Dave and I have both been doing a lot of listening... reading, watching, following new voices on social media.  I've reached out to a friend whose voice is one that I will proudly amplify and she's going to be sharing what's on her heart here on my blog later this week (or early next).  We've been speaking with our children about the injustices going on, supporting causes and organizations who are striving to bring justice and unity to our country and praying for God to open our hearts and eyes to help us love like Him.


I feel completely ill-equipped to be a list of resources, but definitely don't mind sharing what I'm reading and what I've downloaded to read next. I'd love to hear what you're reading as well.

"Half Breed" by LeTesha Wheeler (she'll be my guest poster and she is wonderful!)

"Human(kind)" by Ashlee Eiland

"A Good Neighborhood" by Therese Anne Fowler

"White Fragility" by Robin DiAngelo and Michael Eric Dyson

Dave and I have donated to  Be The Bridge and would love to hear about the organizations that you have chosen to support as we commit ourselves financially to back up our desires to be better allies.



I will not publish comments with profanity - I don't use that language off the internet and will not publish it on my space on the internet. 

If you have any questions please don't hesitate to send me an email at momfessionals@gmail.com 

28 comments :

  1. The one thing that I know I can do to affect meaningful change for my children, students, and friends of Color is to resoundly VOTE out any elected official who promotes or instigates hate. These democratically elected officials are charged with representing all the people of the United States-not just those who fit their ideology. I’m tired of the hate that is propagated from the bully pulpit.

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    1. Praying that the current situation and political climate we're in will compel people do to their research and consider which candidate(s) will best support things that are of value to them and represent them well.
      I agree that instigating and promoting hate have no place in our elected positions.

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  2. I have been a follower of yours for years. You have a beautiful family and you are so creative. I have never commented before, but I just have to say this. I was raised in the south. I walk with God everyday. I have 4 kids. What happened to George floyd is absolutely horrible,but how our country is handling this is a disgrace.... there is absolutely no excuse for these people to be burning down cities and burning our flag. We need to wake up and stop being ignorant. I'm sorry but seeing women crapping on top of police cars and black people posting that they are coming out to the white hoods to take back what is theres does not help with racism it only makes it worse. What a way to honor a man whose life was taken.

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    1. I definitely feel like the peaceful protests have been hijacked. Sad that their message is being obscured.

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  3. that photo with your baby girl with the gun........does it hit home now?????????????

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    1. I'm confused... the picture of her at Luke's laser tag party?

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  4. Thank you so much for posting this, Andrea! It's so important for everyone to use their platforms and confront their own blind spots. I would add the book "White Fragility" to your list and suggest donating to the Equal Justice Initiative. They do great work, all the time.

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    1. White Fragility is on my list above and I'll be sure to check out the Equal Justice Initiative. Thanks so much for the recommendations!

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  5. Thanks for this. I feel the same way - so many things I don't know. I'm learning.

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  6. Maintaining this momentum is imperative for us all. I'm glad you found BTB - it's an awesome organization. Joining a Be the Bridge group near you would be a very effective way to keep the conversation going long term. Their website has great lists of resources.

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    1. Thanks, Jayne! I spent some time on their website last night and was so impressed.

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  7. Have you found any books for GG's age? I've seen lists posted, but some seem like they're for older kids.

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    1. I just ordered "Let the Children March" which I'm excited to read. As far as other resources we don't currently have any picture books that expressly deal with racism but have definitely made a point to have books with diverse characters... Jabari Jumps, Ada Twist Scientist,I Had a Favorite Dress as well as books that celebrate the achievements of notable people of history (HERstory, Women who Dared, American Trailblazers, etc.)

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    2. I will add "Memphis, Martin, and the Mountaintop" to this list! It's a little higher level for my 6 year old but he is very engaged when we read it and it starts a lot of conversations.

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  8. I recommend Me and White Supremacy. It's a 30 day journaling workbook that give you guided prompts on how to process your own white privilege and supremacy. It's a humbling, eye open journey.

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    1. Sounds great! Adding it to my list. Thanks so much for the recommendation

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  9. Thank you, Andrea. I am trying to recognize my own white privilege. It's so hard to even imagine what our friends of color go thru on a daily basis. I'm reading "me and White supremacy" as a start. I want to add White Fragility to my list.

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    1. YES it is... adding that one to my list! Thanks so much for the recommendation.

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  10. I'm Still Here by Austin Channing Brown was unbelievably eye opening for me.

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  11. If you look throughout history, peaceful protests and “riots” have always existed together. Both put pressure of politicians, both open the eyes of those living in privilege and both are necessary. If you look at Martin Luther King Jr., for example, (who called the riot the language of the unheard BTW) who protested peacefully and was still murdered. People were upset when NFL players peacefully protested these same issues by taking a knee at football games. It’s hard for us, as white privileged people, to really understand these protests but we need to understand the REASON. One helpful thing for me was to stop saying “It’s horrible that unarmed black men are being killed by police but the looting and rioting has to stop!” And instead switch the priorities and say “It’s horrible that the rioting and looting is going on but police have to stop killing unarmed black men!!” I say this as respectfully as possibly and just hope to help people understand and really push the boundaries of their comfort level.

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    1. I don't think that thinking that the killing of an unarmed black man is wrong and also thinking that looting, burning businesses and killing other black men (Patrick Underwood) is wrong are mutually exclusive thoughts. I also say this as respectfully as possible and am for sure willing to have my boundaries pushed - but as of right now the destruction that's happening is something that's hard for me to grapple with regardless of the "why".

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    2. I just think that there are a lot of people (not necessarily singling you out) who are more vocal about the looting/destruction of businesses than the death of George Floyd and COUNTLESS other victims we never even hear about. I hope that those who are outraged by these riots are just as outraged bu the videos the police officers forcefully throwing peaceful protestors to the ground, the videos of police officers driving their cars through groups of protestors and the picture of a police officer holding a gun up to a young girl on her father’s shoulders. The violence isn’t just coming from one group of people. I understand that it’s hard to grapple with the fact that people aren’t being peaceful but imagine how hard it is to grapple your skin color being weaponized. These things make us feel uncomfortable but in order for things to truly change, we have to get uncomfortable. 90% of Americans today agree with MLK and his beliefs and ways of protests but at the time he was working, he only had a 30% approval rate was voted as one of America’s most hated men. Today, Colin Kaepernick has 30% approval rate, which to me is eye opening about how little we’ve really changed. I recommend watching the documentary 13th on Netflix. It made me very uncomfortable but it opened my eyes in a new light.

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  12. I have searched my heart and prayed for peace, and yet I still find this situation so very confusing and disturbing. My heart breaks for the pain and the hurt of what
    is happening in our country, I do not have answers but I pray I have compassion for those things that hurt Jesus's heart and I am confident this is hurting His heart. I can not accept that the devastation that is hitting our communities is unacceptable, and we as Americans can do better! Thank you for being a bright light and always offering a perspective that is encouraging!

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  13. Hi Andrea. I want you to know how much I deeply appreciate your post. I was off my computer/phone on yesterday and am just reading this. As a black woman, with three black sons, I am so grateful for women/mothers like you who are willing to speak up when you don't have to. I feel helpless, too. I'm trying to do my part to continue to educate my children on the importance of modeling Christ in every aspect of their lives. I've been following your blog, Shay's and Erika's for over 6 years. I stumbled across Shay's blog when my husband and I began the foster/adoption process. You all have made a huge impression on me for your compassion that you have publicly expressed. I simply say Thank You.... Shelley from Little Rock, Arkansas.

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